The Gospel of Frank, Part II: The Parable of the Prodigal Son

For those who have not yet heard of the universe-changing discovery I recently made in my backyard, read all about it first.

So my buddy and I have finished translating the real parable of the prodigal son. Once again, it's truly amazing what the Spirit of God can accomplish in various theological traditions. It seems that, without having had access to Frank's Gospel, the various proponents of a particular atonement theory had it right all along.

So, without further adieu, I present to you the oldest extant version of the parable of the prodigal son. I'll just give you the part where the original text deviates from those imposter, "synoptic" versions:

...18I will get up and go to my father, and I will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you; 19I am no longer worthy to be called your son; I repent, so treat me like one of your children again.”’ 20So he set off and went to his father. But while he was still far off, his father saw him and was filled with a sense of imminent judgment; he ran and wagged his finger at him and chided him. 21Then the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you; see, I am repenting...call me your son.’ 22But the father said to his slaves, ‘Quickly, bring out my eldest son, the one who is wearing a robe—the best one—that I had put on him; the one with a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet; my true son. 23And once he has arrived, kill him; 24for this other son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found! But, alas, he cannot be forgiven lest my blood thirst for justice has been satisfied.’ Sucks, I know, but that's the way things are.

Stay tuned...more shocking revelations to come.

Grace and Peace,
Raffi

N.T. Wright and Rob Bell on the Future of the Church

Or, as Rob Bell puts it:

"She is a mystery, isn’t she? Still going after all this time. After the Crusades and the Inquisition and Christian cable television. Still going. And there continue to be people like me who believe she is one of the best ideas ever. In spite of all the ways she has veered off track. In spite of all the people who have actually turned away from God because of what they experienced in church…But she will live on. She’s indestructible. When she dies in one part of the world, she explodes in another. She’s global. She’s universal. She’s everywhere. And while she’s fragile, she’s going to endure. In every generation there will be those who see her beauty and give their lives to see her shine. Jesus said the gates of hell will not prevail against her. That’s strong language. And its’ true. She will continue to roll across the ages, serving and giving and connecting people with God and each other. And people will abuse her and manipulate her and try to control her, but they’ll pass on. And she will keep going..."

Grace and Peace,
Raffi

The Gosepl of Frank, Part I: The Great Commission

I have made an earth-shattering discovery! The oldest known document concerning the life of Jesus has been found!!!

The Gospel According to Frank!!!!!

I was gonna notify the Vatican, CNN, the U.N., et al., but I decided to post the relevant information here at Parables instead. Figured the increased traffic would be pretty cool.

So here’s how it all went down.

I was out back digging in the garden (I do that sometimes, for no good reason). About 4 feet down, my shovel struck something (it does that sometimes). It was what appeared, at first sight, to be an ancient scroll. So I went into my office and got my handy InstaCarbon Dater (it was an impulse buy; never thought it’d come in so handy). Sure enough, the LCD screen read “55 – 57 A.D.”

I tried to unpack the scroll but it shattered into pieces. I should have figured. So I spent the rest of the afternoon scotch taping it back together. Pretty dull work.

I’m not entirely fluent in ancient languages (and the scroll was certainly written in one of those), so I called over a buddy of mine. He had also worked on the recently-discovered Jesus ossuary, so you know this guy’s credible.

He started translating it, and to both our shock and surprise, it turned out to be a heretofore lost gospel written by a heretofore unknown disciple of Jesus named Frank. Apparently, Frank and Mark weren't always on the best of terms, so there may have been some politics involved...but I'm not here to speculate.

I know, I know...how did a first-century Middle Eastern document end up burried in my backyard in SoCal? I asked my ossuary buddy the same thing. He gave me an interesting scenario, which sounded plausible, but it escapes me at the moment. But, again, what with his credentials....

My buddy and I haven't translated the entire gospel yet. Like I said, it's pretty fragile. But the parts we have translated are remarkably similar to the synoptic gospels, but with a few striking twists that shed new light on what Jesus' message actually was. As it turns out, a lot of the theological insights made by those within the mainstream Protestant, Evangelical tradition over the last century or so were supernaturally right on target! I mean, some really, really eye-opening stuff!

Like I said, my buddy and I are still working on it, but over the next few days/weeks I'll be posting some of the truly remarkable sections. Here's the first, the actual text of the Great Commission:

But the eleven disciples proceeded to Galilee, to the mountain which Jesus had designated. And when they saw Him, they worshiped Him; but some were doubtful. So Jesus immediately zapped the doubtful ones to hell. And He spoke to the rest, saying, "All authority in heaven and on earth will be given to Me; not just yet, but when I come again (and you'll know when that happens, because people will suddenly start to disappear; hopefully, you'll be one of them). Until then, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to never curse, go to church every Sunday, campaign to deny basic civil rights to anyone who doesn't act like the kind of person who goes to that church, and a few other gems that I'll instruct you on along the way, which you will immediately recognize as coming from me because they'll be the sort of things that look a lot like the prevailing conservative morality of the time; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.

Next up, the real Parable of the Prodigal Son.

Grace and Peace,
Raffi

Treasures on Earth

Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust consume and where thieves break in and steal; but store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust consumes and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

-Matthew, 6:19-21

Grace and Peace,
Raffi

The BCS and the Institutional Church: Kindred Spirits

She is a broken system. Yet she lives and breathes.

She chokes the beauty and the life out of that which she is designed to administrate, her patron, if you will. Her patron is good, is life-affirming, is a representation of what it means to be human.

She is not.

And yet her patron has become seemingly powerless to stop her. We have created a monster, and it is overpowering us.

She is a monster, but we need not demonize her. She is not fully to blame. She was given power and entrusted to use it to the benefit of her patron, without self-interest.

But she is composed of human beings. Fallen human beings. And there has never existed, in the history of humankind, a system composed of fallen human beings, entrusted with power and asked to administer it for the benefit of others who did not, eventually, become corrupted by that power. Some more than others, but all corrupted. Such a system will naturally, in a fallen world, in good time, operate not for the interests of its patron but for the aggrandizement of its own power, its own comfort, its own wealth.

We are partly to blame for thinking it could work any other way.

Eventually, her self-interest will become so blatant, the essence of her patron so absent in her, that change will become inevitable.

It has happened to her before, and it will happen again. That is the natural order of things.

But she is wise, as are all human systems fattened by power. When the inevitable revolution occurs, she will realize that she cannot resist it without destroying herself. So she will appear to acquiesce to her own resignation. She will pretend to step down.

But she will not. She is simply hibernating, laying low until the temperature subsides.

At which time she will re-emerge. You won't recognize her, for she will change her outward appearance in furtherance of her ultimate end.

But there she will be again. For we are humans, fallen humans, and we require structure and order. And she is happy to provide it.

At a cost.

Let us continue to strive to fix her where possible, confront her when necessary, cry out when her injustice becomes too great to bear. That is our task, our duty, as her beneficiaries.

But let us not become so engulfed in that endeavor that we lose sight of her patron, that good thing that she is badly administering. For whatever system is designed to administer that good patron, she will also endure, in her pure form, and continue to provide delight, joy, human-affirming moments. Certainly, those moments will be diluted, their frequency lessened, by the corrupt administrators.

But let's continue to celebrate when they do occur.

They are what this whole show boils down to.

Grace and Peace,
Raffi